haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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