alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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