I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
