I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
