why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
