So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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