uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
