He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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