There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
