haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I need help removing her.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
