Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
