if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
