hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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