am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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