I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
