true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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