halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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