Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
