Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
