Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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