In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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