Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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