and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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