and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
