STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
