The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
