A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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