Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
