Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
