No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
PANTIES FOUND
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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