dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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