i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
