Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
