Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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