remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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