I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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