Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
