if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My life is pants optional.
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