I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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