First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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