grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
