what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
