I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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