I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
