I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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