So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
