I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
