I want to have your abortion
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
