Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
