I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
