You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
